Labyrinth (1986)

Labyrinth Quote: “That’s not fair!” – Sarah

A 40-year-old, hypersexualized rock star in a codpiece who calls himself a Goblin King steals a baby and tries to seduce the child’s 15-year-old sister among dismembered Muppets, roofies, and suggestive lyrics.

Yeah, we’re gonna keep this one real professional.

You get ALL FOUR SHAT THE MOVIES HOSTS IN ONE! Roger sees masterful symbolism. Gene hears is gorgeous music. Kerri flashes back to her childhood, and Dick is scandalized by the treatment of children.

Chilly Down with us; do a Magic Dance, and let us Within You.

Plot Summary: “Labyrinth” Young Sarah is left home alone by her parents and she has to babysit her little brother Toby. But the baby keeps crying and Sarah, while telling him a story from one of her books to make him sleep, inadvertently conjures from a fantasy world the Goblin King who steals the child and brings him to his castle in the middle of a labyrinth. Sarah has to rescue him before midnight, or the baby will became a goblin forever.

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