Most “Shat The Movies” episodes are commissioned by listeners who want to hear us revisit films they love. But this one was commissioned by a podcaster who wanted to hear us cover one of Big D’s favorite movies.

Drew Zakmin, of “One Headlight Podcast,” shelled out a few bucks and opened the gates to Michael Bay’s greatest cinematic achievement, 1996’s “The Rock.” It’s got everything we’ve come to expect from a Michael Bay film: explosions, rain, patriotic slow-mo, and even groups of guys in wheelchairs.

“The Rock” is utterly mindless summer popcorn fun, but we’re not complaining. Dick Ebert sees the beauty in side characters that gently tug on racial and sexual stereotypes. Gene Lyons takes care to praise the perfect amount of Nicholas Cage-ness while respecting the real star of this movie: the always-destined-to-die-while-wearing-a-headset Michael Biehn. And Roger Roeper explores the bizarre Goonies underbelly of Alcatraz.

If you’re a fan of using science to kill rogue Marines, don’t like soft-ass shit, and want to see the Sexiest Man Alive in one of his most famous roles, this is the movie for you.

Plot Summary: “The Rock” FBI chemical warfare expert Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) is sent on an urgent mission with a former British spy, John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery), to stop Gen. Francis X. Hummel (Ed Harris) from launching chemical weapons on Alcatraz Island into San Francisco. Gen. Hummel demands $100 million in war reparations to be paid to the families of slain servicemen who died on covert operations. After their SEAL team is wiped out, Stanley and John deal with the soldiers on their own.

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