Deirdre (Natascha McElhone) puts together a team of experts that she tasks with stealing a valuable briefcase, the contents of which are a mystery. The international team includes Sam (Robert De Niro), an ex-intelligence officer, along with Vincent (Jean Reno), Gregor (Stellan Skarsgard) and others. As their operation gets underway, several team members are found to be untrustworthy, and everyone must complete the mission with a watchful eye on everyone else.
Sam (Sam Rockwell) and Eddie (Steve Zahn) are just a couple of clueless, untalented singers. But, when they are mistaken for a pair of safecracking geniuses by a mobster named Veal Chop (Paul Giamatti), they are unwittingly sucked into a life of crime. Though they have no idea what they are doing, Sam and Eddie have no choice but to go along with the Mafia’s orders and break into three safes. Things get even more complicated when Sam falls for the daughter of one of their robbery victims.
When an asteroid threatens to collide with Earth, NASA honcho Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) determines the only way to stop it is to drill into its surface and detonate a nuclear bomb. This leads him to renowned driller Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis), who agrees to helm the dangerous space mission provided he can bring along his own hotshot crew. Among them is the cocksure A.J. (Ben Affleck), who Harry thinks isn’t good enough for his daughter (Liv Tyler), until the mission proves otherwise.
When “The Dude” Lebowski is mistaken for a millionaire Lebowski, two thugs urinate on his rug to coerce him into paying a debt he knows nothing about. While attempting to gain recompense for the ruined rug from his wealthy counterpart, he accepts a one-time job with high pay-off. He enlists the help of his bowling buddy, Walter, a gun-toting Jewish-convert with anger issues. Deception leads to more trouble, and it soon seems that everyone from porn empire tycoons to nihilists want something from The Dude.
Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) loses his money in a poker game against Russian gangster Teddy “KGB” (John Malkovich). Under pressure from his girlfriend, Jo (Gretchen Mol), he promises to quit gambling. This lasts until his friend, Lester “Worm” Murphy (Edward Norton), gets out of prison and needs to pay off an old debt. The pair come close to earning the money back but are caught cheating. Then Mike finds out the debt is owed to Teddy and makes one last-ditch effort to beat the Russian.