Count Dracula, a 15th-century prince, is condemned to live off the blood of the living for eternity. Young lawyer Jonathan Harker is sent to Dracula’s castle to finalise a land deal, but when the Count sees a photo of Harker’s fiancée, Mina, the spitting image of his dead wife, he imprisons him and sets off for London to track her down.
On one random day in the San Fernando Valley, a dying father, a young wife, a male caretaker, a famous lost son, a police officer in love, a boy genius, an ex-boy genius, a game show host and an estranged daughter will each become part of a dazzling multiplicity of plots, but one story.
After getting a green card in exchange for assassinating a Cuban government official, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) stakes a claim on the drug trade in Miami. Viciously murdering anyone who stands in his way, Tony eventually becomes the biggest drug lord in the state, controlling nearly all the cocaine that comes through Miami. But increased pressure from the police, wars with Colombian drug cartels and his own drug-fueled paranoia serve to fuel the flames of his eventual downfall.
After losing yet another job, George (Weird Al Yankovic) wonders if there is any career that can handle his outrageous personality. When George’s uncle (Stanley Brock) hands him the deed to a local TV station, George creates a series of television shows based on social satire and hyperactive humor, with the help of his best friend, Bob (David Bowe). However, a rival station’s bitter CEO (Kevin McCarthy) tries to destroy George’s wacky programming, forcing him to fight back.
Harris K. Telemacher (Steve Martin) has the easiest job in the world: he’s a TV weatherman in Los Angeles, where the weather is so predictable he tapes his forecasts days in advance. Bored with his job, his life and his relationship with longtime girlfriend Trudi (Marilu Henner), Harris begins to receive secret messages from an electronic freeway sign near his home, which lead him to pursue romance with a British journalist (Victoria Tennant) and a vapid young model (Sarah Jessica Parker).
When Col. Ted Masters’ (Tim Thomerson) plane goes down in an Arab country and he’s sentenced to death for trespassing, his 18-year-old son, Doug (Jason Gedrick), is determined to save him. Unfortunately, Doug isn’t the best fighter pilot — he wasn’t accepted into the Air Force because he needs to listen to music in order to hit a target. So he enlists the help of Col. Chappy (Louis Gossett Jr.) to borrow a couple of F-16 planes, fly across the Atlantic and start a rescue mission.
Ash is transported back to medieval days, where he is captured by the dreaded Lord Arthur. Aided by the deadly chainsaw that has become his only friend, Ash is sent on a perilous mission to recover the Book of the Dead, a powerful tome that gives its owner the power to summon an army of ghouls.
Young lovers Walter (Tom Hanks) and Anna (Shelley Long) are house-sitting the New York City apartment owned by Max (Alexander Godunov), Anna’s ex-husband, who suddenly decides to toss them out. Needing a new home, they settle on buying a country estate outside the city, which is available for a suspiciously low price. It soon becomes apparent why, as doors fall off their hinges, staircases come tumbling down and a bathtub falls through the floor. The couple’s relationship suffers similarly.
As Adm. James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and Capt. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) monitor trainees at Starfleet Academy, another vessel from the United Federation of Planets is about to try out the planet-creating Genesis Device in a seemingly deserted portion of space. In the process, two of Kirk’s officers are captured by Khan (Ricardo Montalban), an enemy Kirk thought he’d never see again. Once more, Kirk takes the Enterprise’s helm, where he meets Khan’s ship in an intergalactic showdown.
FBI chemical warfare expert Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas Cage) is sent on an urgent mission with a former British spy, John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery), to stop Gen. Francis X. Hummel (Ed Harris) from launching chemical weapons on Alcatraz Island into San Francisco. Gen. Hummel demands $100 million in war reparations to be paid to the families of slain servicemen who died on covert operations. After their SEAL team is wiped out, Stanley and John deal with the soldiers on their own.