Tag Archives: Drama

Willow (1988)

Willow Quote: “Ooh, I’m really scared. No! Don’t! There’s a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!” – Madmartigan

“Willow” might be the saddest movie of all time, because what’s sadder than wasted potential? How do you combine George Lucas, Ron Howard, Val Kilmer, a fantasy universe and a massive budget to create absolute crap?

Start with casting actors strictly based on their height. Next, add recycled plot lines from “Star Wars.” And finally, sprinkle the top with talking animals, absurd accents, nonsensical action scenes and the cheesiest villains in movie history.

This is all Gene’s fault.

The Wilhelm Scream Explained: https://youtu.be/SzITADosISk

Continue reading Willow (1988)

Twister (1996)

Twister Quote: “The Suck Zone. It’s the point basically when the twister… sucks you up. That’s not the technical term for it, obviously.” – Dustin Davis

“Twister” gave us all a horrifying glimpse into a world where the United States doesn’t have any politically correct superpower enemies. Left with no face for our fears, director Jan De Bont made weather itself the enemy, and not even a star-studded cast including Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Cary Elwes could save the resulting shatstorm.

If you were thrilled by this movie years ago or have warm feelings for the late Bill Paxton, let us teach you to hate everything about this movie … with good cause. Continue reading Twister (1996)

Blade Runner (1982)

Blade Runner Quote: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.” – Roy Batty

“Blade Runner” should be a classic sci-fi masterpiece. Should be. Ridley Scott directed it. Philip K. Dick wrote it. Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Daryl Hannah and Edward James Olmos brought it to life.

“Blade Runner” brought dystopian aesthetics to life for American audiences in a way we’d never seen before. And it totally sucked.

Before you cancel your Shat The Movies subscription in disgust, hear us out for an hour. If you could stay awake through “Blade Runner,” you can sit through this.. Continue reading Blade Runner (1982)