Tag Archives: Rated PG-13

Independence Day (1996)

Independence Day Quote: “I picked a hell of a day to quit drinkin’.” – Russel Casse

This “Independence Day,” let’s celebrate the 1996 cinematic dumpster fire that made Will Smith a blockbuster action hero and taught us Jeff Goldblum wasn’t acting in “Jurassic Park.” That’s really him. He can actually hack alien computers. Join us as we fly our mother ship of skepticism through plot holes, wildly offensive performances and Randy Quaid’s most annoying character ever. Continue reading Independence Day (1996)

Batman (1989)

Batman Quote: “I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world’s first fully functioning homicidal artist. ” – Joker

Sometimes, a podcast episode comes along and ruins your entire childhood. This recap of Tim Burton’s 1989 “Batman” is that episode. Give us an hour, and we’ll convince you Michael Keaton was a ridiculous Dark Knight, Jack Nicholson was an unoriginal Joker, and journalists really aren’t bad. On the bright side, Prince did put together a stellar soundtrack, and Kim Basinger is undeniably at the top of her game. Continue reading Batman (1989)

Goldeneye (1995)

Goldeneye Quote: “You know, this sort of behavior could qualify as sexual harassment.” – Miss Moneypenny

“Goldeneye” gave us a new James Bond in Pierce Brosnan and type of villain with Alan Cumming’s Boris The Hacker. But the 1995 blockbuster missed a Golden opportunity to reinvent a franchise that was long overdue for some growing up.

Sure, there were highlights: a sadistically sexy Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp, another Sean Bean death and a cameo by Minnie Driver. However, the improbable stunts, goofy gadgets, sexism, misogyny were too much for this movie to overcome.

At least there was the video game. Man, that was a fun game. Continue reading Goldeneye (1995)