Tagged: Rated PG

PG (parental guidance): Some material may not be suitable for children. The movie may have mildly strong language and some violence, but no substance use or physical abuse.

Labyrinth 1986 Movie Poster

Labyrinth (1986)

Labyrinth Quote: “That’s not fair!” – Sarah A 40-year-old, hypersexualized rock star in a codpiece who calls himself a Goblin King steals a baby and tries to seduce the child’s 15-year-old sister among dismembered Muppets, roofies, and suggestive lyrics. Yeah, we’re gonna keep this one real professional. You get ALL...

The-Goonies-1985-Movie-Poster

The Goonies (1985)

The Goonies Quote: “Kids suck!” – Mama Fratelli Was Chunk fat-shamed or fat-famed? Does foreclosure really need to be explained? What’s the proper etiquette for wishing well coin collection? And does One-Eyed Willy’s hoard count as buried treasure or a fortune lost at sea? Gene and Big D fight for...

spaceballs-1987-movie-poster

Spaceballs (1987)

Spaceballs Quote: “I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes! [Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down] Keep firing, assholes!” – Dark Helmet Spaceballs wins our Best of John Candy category, bringing Roger and Gene together against Big D for the first time ever. Hop aboard the Spaceball One as we...

Real Genius (1985) Movie Poster

Real Genius (1985)

Real Genius Quote: “It is God!” – Kent A deliciously young Val Kilmer, an even more delicious young Sarah Jessica Parker (played by Gabriel Jarret), a billion lasers, boring montages, horny cosmetologists, unreal liquid nitrogen, unbelievable penis hammering, Jesus in the teeth, Tear for Fears, and the most famous popcorn...

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Poster (1990)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quote: “Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!” – Raphael Did you know 1990’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the highest grossing independent film of all time? It was. Did you know creature master Jim Henson lent his magic...

A Christmas Story 1983 Movie Poster

A Christmas Story (1983)

A Christmas Story Quote: “It was all over – I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child’s play compared to what surely awaited me.!” – Ralphie  What goes great with a holiday hangover? How about a...

Scrooged 1988 Movie Poster

Scrooged (1988)

Scrooged Quote: “The bitch hit me with a toaster!” – Frank Cross Caught in the doldrums between Christmas and New Year’s Eve? We’ve got one more present for you! “Scrooged” might be the sleeper holiday comedy you need this winter. It certainly surprised us. Bill Murray is at his best,...

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back 1980 Movie Poster

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The Empire Strikes Back Quote: “He’s no good to me dead!” – Boba Fett  “The Last Jedi” is here and dividing fans like no Star Wars movie before. Gain some perspective by looking back on the high point of the franchise: “The Empire Strikes Back.” We bow down to...