Category: 1980’s Best Movies

The-Goonies-1985-Movie-Poster

The Goonies (1985)

The Goonies Quote: “Kids suck!” – Mama Fratelli Was Chunk fat-shamed or fat-famed? Does foreclosure really need to be explained? What’s the proper etiquette for wishing well coin collection? And does One-Eyed Willy’s hoard count as buried treasure or a fortune lost at sea? Gene and Big D fight for...

The Goonies Lost Treasure and Maritime Law

The Goonies, Lost Treasure and Maritime Law

In The Goonies, would they really have been able to keep the jewels Mikey got off the pirate ship? Or would the State have asserted ownership of the discovered “historical relics”? If you haven’t seen The Goonies, you should.  It’s a classic 80s movie, and although it was directed by Richard Donner,...

The Terminator (1984) Movie Poster

The Terminator (1984)

The Terminator Quote: “I’m a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told she was here. Could I see her please?” – The Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the Terminator, a cyborg assassin sent back in time from 2029 to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), whose son will one day...

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Big Trouble in Little China Quote: “When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right...

spaceballs-1987-movie-poster

Spaceballs (1987)

Spaceballs Quote: “I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes! [Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down] Keep firing, assholes!” – Dark Helmet Spaceballs wins our Best of John Candy category, bringing Roger and Gene together against Big D for the first time ever. Hop aboard the Spaceball One as we...

Real Genius (1985) Movie Poster

Real Genius (1985)

Real Genius Quote: “It is God!” – Kent A deliciously young Val Kilmer, an even more delicious young Sarah Jessica Parker (played by Gabriel Jarret), a billion lasers, boring montages, horny cosmetologists, unreal liquid nitrogen, unbelievable penis hammering, Jesus in the teeth, Tear for Fears, and the most famous popcorn...

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Movie Poster

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Conan the Barbarian Quote: “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!” – Conan Soundtrack of the gods, camel-punching, surprise romance, imperfect allies, meaty snakes, cannibalistic orgies, and a unanimous Shat Score. Conan The Barbarian often is lumped in the...

A Christmas Story 1983 Movie Poster

A Christmas Story (1983)

A Christmas Story Quote: “It was all over – I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child’s play compared to what surely awaited me.!” – Ralphie  What goes great with a holiday hangover? How about a...