Commando (1985)

Commando Quote: “Let off some steam, Bennett” – Col. John Matrix


Give “Commando” some respect! Seriously! This Arnold Schwarzenegger action extravaganza paved the way for watch-based action shows like “24,” spawned Arnold comedies like “Kindergarten Cop” and proved you can, in fact, have too much calypso music in a movie.

This episode has something for everyone: Big D wows by using his military experience to backseat drive the world’s worst Special Forces operatives. Roger busts out his world-famous Austrian

accent, and Gene tells the tragic tale of Val Verde, a nation forgotten because it never existed.

Relive Schwarzenegger’s tactical mistakes, marvel at Dan Hedaya’s awkward Spanish accent, swoon over the implied homosexuality, and cringe at the veiled pedophilia.

It’s all here on Shat The Movies. Sit back, press play, and LET OFF SOME STEAM. Continue reading Commando (1985)

Rocky IV (1985)

Rocky IV Quote: “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change” – Rocky Balboa


Rocky IV punched its way into the heart of ’80s kid by giving us an overload of all the things America loves: a dopy Sylvester Stallone, a terrifying-yet-misunderstood Dolph Lundgren, a sexy robot, Cold War speeches, Carl Weathers’ mustache and training montages.

Sure, the punches looked off, the scenes were largely recycled and A GUY DIED IN AN EXHIBITION FIGHT, but after 31 years we’re still thrilled by this beefcake brawlapalooza that’s tough as snails Continue reading Rocky IV (1985)

Last Starfighter (1984)

The Last Starfighter Quote: We were looking up at the stars and she sticks her tongue in my ear. I screamed. I’ll apologize to her tomorrow, okay?” – Beta


The Last Starfighter brought us Rylans, the Kodan, Zando-Zans, Grig, Beta Units and whatever the hell Centauri was. It also delivered childhood dreams of video game supremacy that would carry us to the stars.

But does all that make up for hammy acting, eye-melting CGI and an alien race who look like balding boobs? That’s this week’s debate, and Shat The Movies’ three-man panel is split like never before.

So load up your meteor cannon, strap into your gunstar and get ready to discover a whole lot more about Roger’s sex life. Continue reading Last Starfighter (1984)

Tombstone (1993)

Tombstone Quote: “”You skin that smoke wagon and we’ll see what happens! (…) I’m gettin’ tired of all your gas, now jerk that pistol and go to work! (…) I said throw down, boy!”” – Wyatt Earp


“Tombstone” packed in the stars: Kurt Russel, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliot, Bill Paxton, Dana Delaney, Powers Boothe, Charlton Heston, Jason Priestley, Steven Lang, Billy Bob Thornton and more. And it packed in the action with a relentless shoot-em-up pace. But did it pack as big a punch as we remember?
From historical accuracy to production quality, let’s cock the hammer on this 90’s western and explore some hot topics, including: how many shells and double-barreled shotgun holds, when it’s permissible to seek a new wife, how long after an assassination attempt you must wait to play billiards, and the difference between Doc Holliday and Doc Hollywood. Continue reading Tombstone (1993)