Willow (1988)

Willow Quote: “Ooh, I’m really scared. No! Don’t! There’s a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!” – Madmartigan

“Willow” might be the saddest movie of all time, because what’s sadder than wasted potential? How do you combine George Lucas, Ron Howard, Val Kilmer, a fantasy universe and a massive budget to create absolute crap?

Start with casting actors strictly based on their height. Next, add recycled plot lines from “Star Wars.” And finally, sprinkle the top with talking animals, absurd accents, nonsensical action scenes and the cheesiest villains in movie history.

This is all Gene’s fault.

The Wilhelm Scream Explained: https://youtu.be/SzITADosISk

Continue reading Willow (1988)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quote: ” The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky.” – Baby Herman

“Who Framed Roger Rabbit” sets the bar for 80s movie effects. It boasts inventive techniques, tons of heart and neurotic attention to detail. Shocked? So we’re we. But Bob Hoskins, Christopher Lloyd and the Disney-Warner Brothers crossover made believers of three grown men.

Also, Rog did way too much research for this one.

Video: Breaking down the brilliant ways Roger Rabbit was animated  Continue reading Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

The Fifth Element (1997)

The Fifth Element Quote: “Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would’ve immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.” – Zorg

The Fifth Element combined the action starpower of Bruce Willis, the sexuality of Milla Jovovich, the comedic genius of Chris Tucker, the incomparable talent of Gary Oldman and the fashion vision of Jean-Paul Gaultier. And it pretty much sucked.

Shocked? So were we. In 1997, we worshipped this movie. In 2017, we were horrified to note the glacial pacing, meandering storyline and awkward fight choreography.

Kevin Brackett, of Reel Spoilers and Review St. Louis, guest hosts and confirms our startling realization: The Fifth Element does not hold up. Continue reading The Fifth Element (1997)