The Last Boy Scout (1991)


The Last Boy Scout Quote: “Sure, sure, I know… it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. “Whoops! I’m so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn’t my week.” – Joe Hallenbeck

“The Last Boy Scout” is a movie by dirt bags for dirt bags. Producer Joel Silver is a dirt bag who cast his girlfriend as a topless chick in “Die Hard” and never gave her film credits. Bruce Willis plays a disgraced Secret Service agent who appear to be a dirt bag private investigator. And Big D is a dirt bag who loves this movie and cheated on every girlfriend he ever had. But not his wife.

Shat The Movies co-host Gene’s a dirt bag who dated a trailer park stripper. Co-host Roger is a dirt bag who doesn’t know how commas work. And they all agree that everyone’s been cheated on. This episode’s a dark podcast for a surprisingly dark movie.

You can thank listener Edwin for commissioning this morally bankrupt podcast.

The movie’s opening montage is painfully and perfectly ’90s. The opening football sequence is a bizarre use of Billy Blanks, and it just gets weirder from there.

Willis and Damon Wayans struggle to decide who the movie’s funny man is, while we all know the real clown is Wayan’s wardrobe. And all the while Big D insists Hallenbeck and Dix are among film’s greatest buddy pairings.

Oh, and we settle the question of who’s the biggest badass: Joe Hallenbeck or John McClane.

Plot Summary: “The Last Boy Scout” Once a first-rate Secret Service agent, Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) is now a gruff private investigator whose latest gig is protecting a pole dancer (Halle Berry). When she’s murdered, he grudgingly teams up with her boyfriend, Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), an ex-quarterback with a gambling problem, and the two go after her killers. Before long, they stumble onto a plot by a well-known football magnate (Noble Willingham) to bribe federal legislators into legalizing sports gambling.

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